Why I’m not going to let the narrative of “white Privilege” rule my life…

Growing up my parents just didn’t think the stereotypical way of a black family- from theology to politics we just thought different. Because my family didn’t even focus on race, I walked around not ever feeling like I was different even though I was usually the only black female in nearly all my interactions. To me, people were people that were just different colors with different interests.

It was just the cards that was dealt to me… but my parents wanted to homeschool as soon as they had children; and in north Dallas in the 80s, not many black kids were homeschooled. We really didn’t care; it was just something my parents were serious about doing.

So, when I got into my teens and into college the idea that I was born into white society and that I would always have the notion of “white privilege” hanging over my head, was something I completely didn’t understand and ignored. I didn’t understand why some of the black people that I heard speak on television, or even friends of color, felt they were being held back by the white man. Since then, I have looked at my life in reflection:

1. As a black person I was able to be homeschooled and take dance with white people and they always gave me opportunities to succeed and be as good as I wanted to be, in spite of some unfairness within the arts.
2. When I began community college at 17 years of age, I would take classes and score good grades quite often and was put on the National Dean list at the time. My teachers at the local community college never told me I could not succeed or do better than my classmates because I was a person of color. They simply said, “great job.”
3.  From community college, I went on to audition for Southern Methodist University’s Meadows School of the Arts (a predominately white school), and was accepted on a partial dance scholarship and was one of the first freshmen cast in the main stage show that year. There were at least two white directors that told me I should audition for the university and they helped me prepare a dance for my audition- I am still grateful to this day. They helped me see that hard work pays off in most instances.
4. My senior year of college I was recruited to be an in store manager for Abercrombie and Fitch a predominately white company. I moved up to People Manager within the year that I worked there and became the person to higher and recruit. I never thought I was not able to move further in the company because of my skin color.
5. After close to a year of people managing a store, I decided to be a school teacher at a private school. It was a predominately white school and the white principal hired me as their middle school English teacher. The following fall I became the 9th/10th English teacher as well as the 11/12 grade apologetics teacher- alongside continuing to teach middle school English (even a black woman from Yale was elected principal during the time I was there).
6. I wanted to focus on my dance career,  thus for the past 8 years I have been teaching ballet, directing ballet programs, and my own dance company. I never thought that I was going to have to battle succeeding being a choreographer or teacher because I was black.

 

Throughout my life, I have never felt that I was not given many chances to succeed at whatever I put my mine and heart to. Am I saying there is not discrimination even 50 years after the civil rights movement, or that white suppression didn’t exist during slavery times where we were not even aloud to read, no. Am I saying that there is not privilege on different levels in America, no. Am I saying there is no such thing as racial injustice, of course not.  What I am saying is this: The idea that I have to lean on my white brothers and sisters to achieve success in this life is false. I don’t have to have a white friend with me to go shopping, or have a white friend with me during my interviews, or marry a white person to have an upper hand at life, or even tell my half black kids that they are going to have a hard life and will be held back because they are not white;  It is all false. I’m not going to set my kids up with that kind of mentality.  Have I felt racially profiled at times…yes, and even felt I was treated differently because I was black; but, it can’t change my true identity.

This current racial climate has been the only time where I have felt very racially conscious and fearful because media has made it look like I’m going to have a hard life and even perpetuating this idea for its own agendas. I’m more afraid of media’s narrative of “white privileged” than its actual existence in society.

In reality, as black people, we can achieve great things with hard work and integrity. Every rejection is not always based on race; many times it is not. Sometimes we just have to work a little harder and smarter to achieve God’s call on our lives. To live one’s life led by the notion of “white privilege”, is to live life by a false narrative. Many may disagree with me; but, we have had a black president to debunk this idea that we are held back and that idea is not stemming from ignorance or “white innocence” language. We can achieve many wonderful things in this life and go on the most amazing adventures if we saw our identity in a new way.  “White privilege” is not the narrative that is going to rule my life. I’m not sure about yours.

As a Christian woman, my identity is in Christ. I am not a helpless pitiful black woman roaming around wondering if a white person is going to judge me or accept me; I wake up most mornings excited to get out of bed and plan my next adventure with my family. I  still dream big dreams with my husband. It is easy to feel like a victim, and sometimes we may be a victim of an unfair situation because of our race; however, we can’t remain in that mindset because of the sin of a few uninformed (and sometimes ignorant and hateful) individuals we may come in contact with throughout our lives. We must wake up and look in the mirror and smile because God has each of us here for a reason; we have purpose because we have life. As a person who follows Jesus, I can look in the mirror and remember I am a daughter of a King.

I truly believe that if we want to walk in love with our brothers and sisters of different cultures and skin color, we have to be sure we know who we are first. We can’t wait for everything to be fair and right in our world to keep loving others and advocating for each other. Corrie Ten Boom in the concentration camps didn’t stop having hope and considering others in times of danger and great fear for her life. Many African American slaves in the midst of their sorrow could not give up hope; Frederick Douglass, in the midst of the evil of slavery, called upon those in government to do the just duty and right thing before God- to abolish slavery; he did so with tact, reason, and hope as an American. He was not anti-America. Paul in the Bible in the midst of his sufferings preached the good news of Jesus while he was wrongfully imprisoned. We must remember that we are first children of God. We are all made in His image.

Is “white privilege” a myth? Well, we make it more of a reality the more we accept it and wake up each day thinking that the notion controls our lives. Some white people think they owe black people an apology for being white with “privilege”; this fuels the idea and does nothing for the black person in return. It only breeds a type of unconscious racist piety or guilt in some white people and can keep the black person continuing in his or her thoughts of fear, unworthiness, and hopelessness.

Let us together stop being ruled by the notion of “white privilege”, but instead see life as a privilege. Anyone who is born with a fire to succeed can succeed; we truly progress when we walk in truth and live honorable lives for the glory of God and His purposes, for life is a privilege.